Sketchbook Lesson

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Did you ever do something to challenge
yourself, only to have it teach you another
lesson entirely.

I decided to participate in the Sketchbook
Project this year.  I wanted to stretch myself,
do something I ordinarily wouldn’t dream of
doing, would run from, hide from, find any
way to escape.

So, to run right over that fear I signed up
and paid the money before I had a chance
to change my mind.  The lovely blank journal
arrived, I looked at everything in the envelope
and did nothing.

For several weeks I did nothing, then several
weeks more I did nothing, dreading opening
up that book.

Finally I started pasting some vintage book
pages in place, some gesso coated rosin paper,
some kraft, and then more nothing.

I absolutely froze.

Silly, I said to myself, just draw something.
So I did on a few pages and hated it all,
I mean really hated it, HATED it. So I stopped
and went on to other things.

Last night I woke at 2:00 am and the entire
concept for the sketchbook came to me.
I went down to the studio, erased all my
pencil sketches and began to collage
and the blossoms unfolded.

I worked the concept of 21 pages before
I stopped.  I realized that all along I had
not been true to myself and the lesson
was to go back to that glue stick, go back
to the me, the keeper of the paste and simply
paste.

My own backgrounds, photos – cut, torn, glued.

So for now I am happy, but I will be cranky later when
the lack of sleep plays catch up with me.
I had better plan on a nap.

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